Peace is very dear to me. It provides the necessary balance of learning new things and being supported in the process. When stepping and succeeding, or stumbling, tripping and falling it is of immense value to be able to alternate exploring the unknown with resting in a safe environment to integrate what’s learned. A peaceful, safe base is of immense value to children and adults alike as we keep learning throughout the whole of our lives. Whether we like it or not.
A peaceful, safe environment is a place where people support each other in an appropriate, mature way. This means to not endorse unnecessary ongoing dependencies but allow space for others to grow up, wake up and show up in their uniqueness and at their own pace. Guiding but not coercing. Presenting feedback not blame. Opening ourselves and all of our potential and flow instead of initiating an ongoing tsunami of resentful criticism.
A safe environment means to not violate innocence in any way. Ever. No excuses.
This includes not curbing nor ridiculing what for a more adult person might appear naïve but for a child or any less experienced person is appropriate curiosity and enthusiasm. Both of these emotions are absolutely necessary for expanding as a fully present and engaged human being. A safe environment includes an embracing emotional space to return to after exploring a new piece of the unknown. An embracing harbor where it is same after a storm is necessary to stay open and transparent, to not structurally contract in an attempt to protect oneself against the unknown which would mean a reduction of creativity. When meeting with a disappointment or harshness or physical and emotional violence we need to be able to relax afterwards and let the stress of the encounter subside in order to flow and live fully alive again. If the softening relaxing effect of an embracing, peaceful environment does not happen, part of us stagnates and gets isolated. The unintegrated part does not resonate with our aliveness anymore. We become less than fully alive. We experience less and less inner peace.
This is an generally unrecognised painful event. It results in being less capable of feeling and responding, of full presence in our being and relating. This usually means we tend to take refuge in frantic thinking and doing instead, in disconnecting from our inner and outer world more and more. The unresolved emotional hurt often gets translated in physical pain or illness. Even if that does not happen, we become less of a whole human being, less able of spontaneously and effortlessly relating with ourselves and with the world. Inner peace becomes a whisper often unheard in noisy or numbing attempts to distract ourselves from feeling unsafe and traumatised.
This happens in war areas on a huge scale. This happens during life anywhere as we all tend to carry our unhealed emotional-war-wounds with us everywhere we go. The repressed hurt of our unhealed wounds of violated innocence infuses every meeting we engage in. It happens on a vibrational level, no matter how hard we try to ignore it with our rational brain. The older brain parts of others respond to our hidden emotions and their restless vibrations. And ours to theirs. Relentlessly. The older brainparts can be negated and ignored but not fooled by rational excuses and lies, as they don’t understand words. We can disconnect from our own inner innocence and hurtful feelings but not disable their vibrational effect on the world.
For worse or better, which option gets your vote? Which option do you dedicate yourself to on a daily basis? That’s an important question.
When we start contracting and protecting ourselves, we become less whole on an energetical level. We repress parts of ourselves in an attempt to lessen the awareness of the hurt that has been activated by unwelcomeness and bullying we previously ran into. The hurt stays, even when the repression appears to be succesfull. This way we create a global society of repressed people attempting to make things work despite of this collective handicap.
Repressing pain and then denying its existence comes with a huge price. A lot of effort and energy is claimed by the asumption we have to spin a lot of plates to look succesfull or to mold and uphold masks of strength. We create walls to keep others out and the unresolved hurt inside our emotional vault containing painful memories. Others bump into these masks, vaults and walls, probably with their own walls, creating a lot of clashes, additional stress and feelings of unsafety. Masking our feeling of insecurity instead of living in transparency we violate others in the process. We tend to keep a distance, withold our embrace or even lash out, instead of interconnecting and sharing ourselves fully.
Those still living in the fully alive innocence phase sooner or later will be learning ‘the hard way’ that the open tenderness of innocence is valued less than harshness. Or maybe it is not valued less but feared more? As softness and openness touches our own soft and innocent spots, even the one’s tucked away seemingly safely inside our inner emotional vaults.
How do you respond to innocence? Let’s try peaceful together for at least one day? Maybe it will grow on us.
I wish you all much love and peace, Mariëlle